to view that smile on her mother’s face awakened the desire to cling to her frame as she had before harming Anna, to feel the embrace of another beating heart, to know the warmth she was deprived of. small feet shuffled, the only the sign of her own struggle. touch&affection were out of the question for Elsa, especially following her ’interaction’ with a suit of armour which had caused her to retreat to the recesses of her room moments prior.
though nearly calmed, the warmth began to collect in the corners of her eyes, emotion stinging their surface, yearning for release.
❝ i was … i was just trying to play but i couldn’t. these gloves —— my powers —— they … ❞
a shaky exhalation, the lump within throat growing, hardly soothed by a thick swallow. illumination was only provided on most of the story, exposing some trivial events that had led to her previous turmoil. had Mama not seen the winter-laden armour just beyond the staircase ? surely Papa would discover it & come to question her, his disappointment drowning her.
& although she strove to contain her emotion, it began to trickle down pallid cheeks.
❝ … they ruined everything. ❞
"Oh, darling.“
Before she could stop herself, before she could remember what Elsa had asked them to do, she had wrapped her arms around her child. It was both comfort and protection, stroking at Elsa’s hair as she shushed her quietly.
"A few little slips don’t mean everything is ruined,” she murmured quietly, pressing a kiss to the side of her daughter’s head. “Mistakes happen, whether we have powers or not. But getting this upset over it won’t help matters, will it?”
Elsa was just as overdramatic over these things as her father could be. Her own family had always been rather relaxed–it was Agdar who would run around like a headless chicken the moment anything didn’t go to plan. But it was only ever over small things. When there was a large crisis, he was surprisingly level headed.
she had to listen. she had to control it. she had to keep everyoneSAFE.
inhalation was swiftly forced away in exhalation, the storm consuming her, drowning in it, desperately trying to focus on her mother’s voice. & through the static, it had clung to her psyche, assuring her as azure optics stained with terror steadied on those of her mother’s. at first, the mirrored breaths appeared to have been influenced by the fine tremors in her bones but the young heiress pressed on.
a small hand rose to imitate Mama’s positioning, focus enraptured in the steady rhythm in which her hand rose & fell. that was when the soft query stuttered from her lips, frost beginning to recede from the glass across the room.
❝ l - like this ? ❞
“Exactly like that, love, well done.”
An encouraging smile, one of pride, decorated Idun’s face. Proud that Elsa had listened, that she was trying so hard, as she always did. Her hard working little girl. Who pushed herself too far. The Queen did worry about her eldest’s health when she caught her in moments like this–surely it wasn’t good for her.
“Now, what happened to get you so riled up, hm?”
Perhaps now she would get an explanation without all the panic. A panic induced by the loss of control no doubt. And who had put the idea in her daughter’s head that such a thing was so awful? Well, Idun knew one person for certain, one person whom she would be speaking with, like she had spoken with him a thousand times before. It was infuriating.
every step brought the vivid recollection of Anna’s life endangered, cold, unconscious, marred by no more than an accident. control was slipping through gloved fingers, her small chest rising & falling at a rapid pace, terrified every muscle in tremors. her mother had not heeded her warning, advancing rather than retreating as her father would. to allow her near would ope n her up for so much danger.
what would Papa think if Mama had fallen to her curse ?!
through the thick fog of apprehension & dread, there was a part of her that yearned for the warmth of her mother’s embrace, to feel safe, to be cradled as she had before the Troll had spoken their warning. the smiling little girl of memory seemed as no more than a mere phantom now, the carefree part of herself was lost with the entirety of Anna’s memories.
❝ th - the gloves —— they aren’t working ! ———- it’s only getting stronger ! ❞
"All right, all right.“
Her voice was quiet, hopefully calming. Different to her daughter’s panicked voice, which felt like a knife to her heart to hear. No mother enjoys hearing her child afraid. And she missed the days when her hold was a safe haven for Elsa, when her arms could protect her. When her words were useful and could get through.
"Can you calm down for me, love? Just some deep breaths. Copy me, all right? Just in and out.”
Her own breathing became exaggerated, Idun’s hand moving up and down on her stomach to show how much air she was taking in. Even if they knew nothing else could help, it was well known that calming the breathing can calm the mind. And hopefully if Elsa calmed, so would the magic that was worrying her so.
the moment her mother settled near her, Elsa recoiled sickened with the fear that the fate which had befallen Anna would seize the well-being of the woman who had given her life. & what a life it had become. as young children within the kingdom would fill the breeze with their laughter, their princess was left observe, longing growing to suffocate her young heart.
❝ i don’t want to hurt you ! ❞
ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ ɪᴛ ! ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ғᴇᴇʟ !
how could she trust that no harm would come to those close to her when this storm raging inside was ERRATIC, UNPREDICTABLE. she couldn’t witness Mama &Papa’s disappointment again, she couldn’t see that fear on their faces - fear of HER - fear of the repercussions of her powers.
& so little feet shuffled back farther into the corner, farther from the arms that were to cradle her, protect her, assure her that everything would be okay.
❝ —— don - don’t come any closer. please. ❞
The Queen froze, her heart aching at her little girl’s pleas, before she moved back a little. This was what Elsa wanted, and they had always said they would respect their daughters’ wishes as long as they were sensible, but this didn’t seem it. This was reinforcing Elsa’s beliefs in any threat she could possess. And so for once, she disagreed with her husband. He had given in. She would not.
And so, furrowing her brow, Idun stood and approached her again. Only a little, just a little. But enough for her to be back in that sphere Elsa didn’t seem to like them entering.
"You aren’t going to hurt me, love.“
Her voice was calming, like she’d use when her children were babies or toddlers and wept, needing comfort. When she could so easily lift them into her arms, swaddle them in blankets, protect them from anything.
"You aren’t, I know you aren’t. Now tell me what’s upset you so. Did something happen?”
don’t feel it ; don’t let it show don’t feel it ;don’t let it show don’t feel it ; don’t let it sh ——
weren’t these GLOVES meant to keep the curse at bay ? what will Papa say ? what will Papa think?
she was failing again, unable to control her powers & as her spiral reached her peak, her mother’s voice broke through - though it sounded as if it was miles away. it was enough to cause her to turn, to swiftly pull them close & grasp them so tightly that she was certain bruises would litter her porcelain flesh, distress aging her innocent visage.
❝ Mama … ❞
warmth began to flood her eyes, vision blurring as it welled up, stinging, burning to escape & stain her cheeks. yet all that echoed within the young girl’s psyche was …
❝ i didn’t … i couldn’t … ❞
—— don’t feel. don’t feel !
❝Darling, darling, calm down, it’s all right.❞
Spotting the tears, she rushed to her child, Elsa still small enough that she could kneel before her and be the correct height. Gently, oh so gently, she pulled the violin from her daughter’s hands before it could be broken. Laying it on the ground, she wanted to take her daughter into her arms, but she was unsure now. Unsure if it would simply upset her further. It was horrible to not be able to offer hugs without thinking it might make matters worse.
❝Hush now, it’s all right. What happened, love? You can tell me, I won’t be angry, I promise.❞
She did wonder what they had done to make Elsa have such a reaction. Idun did so hope she did not fear her father, but she could guess that that would be a factor. And she knew that Agdar’s heart would break if he had even an inkling of how their little girl felt. Her own heart broke on his behalf.
what once brought beauty & wonder to her life now only brought strife. hour after hour, day after day, the gloves remained & yet when frustration would pique the ability to ( ¢ση¢єαℓ ) grew almost impossible. the sound of a violin echoed throughout the empty space of her room, attempting to conquer the challenging piece her tutor had left but as the notes traveled off of their composed course time & time again ; the young princess grew vexed. tension rose, t he temperature of the room dropping while approaching footsteps remained unheard.
another musical misstep, failure becoming Elsa’s reality when perfection was expected, the notion of disappointing those she loved pushing her over the edge. crystalline spidered across the floor, creeping up the walls, brow furrowing, gloved fingers tightening around the instrument’s neck.
Hearing the music as she approached her daughter’s door, Idun wondered for a moment if she should leave her visit for a little bit. But the music cut off, and she carefully turned the handle while Elsa was taking a break.
“Darling?” she asked, poking her head around the door, and knocking lightly on the wood. At what she saw, she quickly entered and shut out the outside world. "Oh dear,“ she murmured, taking a few steps closer.
"What’s happened in here then?”
She made sure to never be accusatory when there were ‘accidents’. Such moments were just a fact of life, like anything else a child did that was beyond their control. There was no point making them feel bad about such matters, when they could not be helped.
