”Let’s go do it now then, Mama! Let’s go!” Learning that her idea was indeed okay, the girl bounced a little in her mother’s arms, urging to move ever forward, “It should be a blue dog!”
Why a dog was to be blue was a story that Anna hadn’t come up with yet, but she figured it would be an interesting one.
"Well, my darling, you shall have the finest blue puppy in all of Arendelle,“ the Queen replied, too entertained to tell the girl off for bouncing so. It may indeed be the only blue puppy in all of Arendelle, but Anna didn’t need to know that. Animals could be unusual colours if they were toys. She distinctly remembered Elsa being delighted by a purple reindeer when she was smaller.
"Shall your puppy have spots, or will he just be blue?” she asked.
And so the child was brought into her mother’s arms, naturally and without any fuss from the girl herself, quite used to being carried around. “I wanna make a puppy doll!” she declared, already with an idea in mind, “Can we do that, Mama? Can we?”
Whilst a real puppy would be even better, Anna thought that a cute wool puppy would be good too. The idea excited her, as did most of hers.
"A puppy doll, hm?“ the Queen hummed, a thoughtful look on her face. "I think that should be quite doable. You can pick out the colours you’d like from the new shipment.”
Although, it may be best to give Anna the task of the simpler parts–the tail, a collar, a lead. The main body might be better left to more practised fingers. But just playing a part in the creation of such a toy should placate Anna. Or, that’s what Idun hoped, anyway.
Groaning again in complaint, the girl sunk in her mother’s lap as she hummed out in thought. She had to think of something to do that didn’t involve all the usual fun things she did with Elsa, whether that was with snow or with recklessness.
But then she remembered something both of them liked to do. “Mama?” she asked, still slinking down slowly, “Can we do the cra-cro—-crocketing?”
Got the word wrong, but perhaps the right idea. Needlework was something she was just really beginning to learn, but to everyone’s surprise, fidgety little Anna really liked it.
A delighted smile spread across the mother’s face as she pulled her child back up into a sitting position. Her daughter’s enjoyment of needlework was unexpected–but a very pleasant surprise for the Queen who so loved it. Not even Elsa had the same patience as Anna did when it came to creative matters.
"Want to do a bit of crocheting, do you?“ she asked, easily turning Anna around so she could lift her up into her arms. All such supplies were kept in her parlour, finding it a much more pleasant space to work in that anywhere else. "Well, you are in luck. New wool has just arrived, as well as some new patterns. What did you have in mind?”
A little dress for a doll, or even a little doll itself, should be easy enough to help Anna make.
A groan came from the child with that answer. How much longer would she have to wait? It always took way too long for Elsa to be done with her lessons. And now she had to think of something else to do, something without any of the snow Elsa could make too!
”Can’t Elsa just finish her lessons earlier?” she said, deciding to complain, “Why’s she always gotta take forever?”
Asked, as if she hadn’t heard the answer already many times.
"I’m afraid not, love,“ Idun replied, quickly pressing a kiss to Anna’s cheek before offering the same explanation to the second question that had been given many times before. "Because she’s older than you, and because she’ll be the Queen one day, when she’s all grown up. She has to learn a lot of things to prepare her.”
Her eldest child having so much responsibility put on her sometimes worried her mother. She hoped things wouldn’t become too much for her sensitive, kind and sweet little girl. But Agdar had promised she would be fine. And Idun had to trust him.
"Now, unless you want to spend the rest of the time cuddling, why don’t you make a choice?“
Anna thought about her mother’s question for a moment, before she decided that maybe Elsa was done with her lessons already. It was too early for that to be the case, but Anna was done with drawing and wanted to play with Elsa again.
”Can I go play with Elsa now?” she asked, her legs kicking the air a bit as she looked up at her mother with pleading eyes.
"It’s still a bit early for that, love,“ Idun said, interlacing her fingers together as she rested her palms against Anna’s stomach. She knew how Anna did so love playing with her big sister–and Elsa loved playing with Anna. But longer lessons was not only the curse of the elder sibling, but also the heir to the throne. Which meant Anna had to be kept entertained most days, during the gap between the ending of her own lessons and the end of Elsa’s.
"Is there something else you’d like to do, sweetheart?"
Her mother’s words seemed to have only sent the opposite message to her; it gave her a hint as to when for sure, but when her mother said it that way, it almost seemed like a lie, words meant to deny and comfort, as surely the Queen had been treating her all these years.
While her mother hold her, Anna didn’t retreat, but that tenseness in her shouders never left.
”Okay, Mama,” she murmured simply. She gave up right then, not wanting to push Idun any further. Obviously her mother’s lips were tied. They would be if they had been sealed for a decade already.
The fight would come back to her surely, and most likely in her father’s office.
"I’d tell you if I could, sweetheart,“ she whispered, giving Anna a squeeze before pulling back. She felt that tenseness in her daughter’s shoulders, and it made her heart heavier. "And you won’t get it out of your father either, so I wouldn’t even try it.”
If she could spare her family more arguments, she would. The Queen knew Elsa had been snappy recently, and her husband didn’t need another daughter coming to his office to pick a fight. It would seem anything could set the elder princess off these days. She hoped Anna wouldn’t go the same way.
"I know there’s nothing I can say that will make you stop questioning this,“ she murmured, running a thumb over Anna’s cheek as she cupped her face. "But you must, Anna. Unless Elsa chooses to tell you… we can’t. I’m sorry.”
Anna took the compliment well; with a giggle and a hum of pride in her little heart. She was glad her mama liked it, for she was quite proud of it herself.
”I think so too!” she declared, swinging her feet a little, “I like it better than the last one.”
Her last picture was of one of the mares, but the princess had stared at it for quite a while after drawing it, and after a moment simply stated that horses were too hard, and then moved on to the drawing they had now.
"Well,“ Idun said, leaning in so her chin was almost on Anna’s shoulder, "I think all your drawings are lovely. And I’m sure your Papa and sister will love this one too.”
True, it was sometimes difficult to make out what her child had drawn, but she always got an explanation.
"Are you going to do another drawing? Or do you want to do something new?“ she enquired. Keeping her daughter occupied while Elsa finished her lessons was testing sometimes, but enjoyable nonetheless. Anna was a lively and sweet little thing.
There was a mix of terrible confusion and frustration in the girl. She didn’t understand her mother’s words which denied the only thing that made sense to her, the tears which sprung from those older eyes when she denied her the only thing she wanted to know.
And she knew very well that there was no way that Elsa would speak a word to her, whether it was pleasant conversation or secrets. Her only possible way of finding out was through her mother, and not even she was going to help.
”I don’t understand,” she said, the frustration leaking though her teeth.
"I know, my sweet,“ Idun murmured, pulling Anna close. She had gone through those teenage growth spurts, the same Elsa had gone through a few years before. But her hand could still go to the back of her daughter’s head, and she could still hold her.
It hurt to know she was Anna’s last chance. Elsa wouldn’t speak of it, not a word, and Agdar would shut down any such questions, threaten punishments until Anna gave up. Idun had been the last chance. And she wanted to tell her, oh she wanted to, but she couldn’t betray Elsa that way. She couldn’t put Anna in jeopardy. That troll had taken the memories for a reason.
"Just know, Anna, that none of this was ever your fault. You were just a little girl, a tiny thing. It’s not your fault.”
Which most would take to mean it was Elsa’s. But Elsa was a little girl too when the accident happened, a little girl with an ability she couldn’t control. And now she was a frightened your woman.
”Uh-huh,” the girl replied, handing her mother the picture so she could climb up on Idun’s lap. Once she was planted back on top, she spread the large paper and pointed at each person once more. “That’s you, Mama, and that’s Papa, and that’s Elsa and me! We’re in the gardens. The birds aren’t there though ‘cause it’s winter.”
Why flowers were around in winter wasn’t even a question to Anna.
Taking the page very carefully, Idun helped Anna get balanced and settled before handing it back. Wrapping one arm around her daughter’s middle, she cuddled her closer, listening to the explanation of the picture. She didn’t question the odd combination of flowers and winter–Anna hadn’t seen many, after all.
"It’s beautiful, darling,“ she said, pressing a kiss to the top of Anna’s head. "You did a lovely job.”
Safe? Keep her safe?
”So I’ve done something then,” she murmured, forced to look at her mother—her eyes were that of someone who was hurt, ”What did I do? What was my mistake? Tell me Mama, what is going on? Mama, please.“ Her last words were trembling, having had quite enough of vague words.
She couldn’t stand it, not knowing what happened, what exactly everyone was keeping from her. Perhaps it would sound farfetched to anyone else, but at that point Anna was wondering if her mistake had affected the kingdom’s diplomatic relations itself.
Why else would the gates be closed? Why else would they have been stuck in the castle all these years?
Keep her safe from what?
”No,“ Idun said instantly, her voice fierce. "No, you have done nothing wrong, my love. Don’t even think such a thing.”
But who would believe that the reason for the locked gates, the reduced staff was their golden child? Everyone had always believed that Elsa was the good girl, and it didn’t take much to see that that was what she always tried to be. But this situation had sat heavily on her shoulders for ten years.
"It is not your fault, Anna, do you understand me?“ she said, hands drifting to her daughter’s shoulders. "It was decided a long time ago that it would be best if you didn’t know. It was taken out of our hands.” And Idun still didn’t see why memories of her sister’s abilities were taken from Anna’s head.
But, oh, that voice. Tears sprang into her eyes, seeing the pain in her child’s. “I wish I could tell you, darling. But it’s not my secret.” A sigh. “It’s Elsa’s.”